There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Monday, May 16, 2011

Expectations


I want to make you happy, but you’re upset.  I see it in your eyes. You look away but not quickly enough. I caught a glimpse.  I’ve let you down…again.  I didn’t mean to.

I want to be the perfect wife/mother/daughter/friend and yet I don’t always know what that means. Tell me what you want and I will deliver, but if you aren’t clear, I might make a mistake.  I might misinterpret what it was I thought you wanted and give you that instead.

It’s my fault. I should know what you expect of me.   I should listen better and ask the right questions.  I should know you well enough to understand your needs and then meet them.

I don’t mean to fail you. I don’t mean to hurt you or disappoint you.  I promise to get it right next time. I will work faster, learn more, try harder.  Watch me. I can be better, stronger, smarter.  So you will be proud of me.

I want to make you happy…

6 comments:

  1. For once I didn't feel like you were writing *my* words, I feel like you were writing my husbands.

    I needed to read this tonite. Thank you friend.

    Also, you know it's US, not you. We are damn near impossible to keep happy, no matter how perfect YOU are.

    Hugs

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  2. You writing perfectly expresses this particular feeling. The urgency of it, very well written. I have never felt this way myself (hmm, perhaps that is bad and selfish right there.:) but I recognize the truth of the words for those who do struggle with this feeling.

    You did a great job with this Deborah!

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  3. Annabelle Thank you!
    Colleen, while not actually a poem, its my feeble attempt at a little poetry/prose :) thanks for the feedback! And as to you never feeling this way...whats the secret!!! :)

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  4. Selfishness. That's the secret.:)

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  5. haha... maybe I should give that a try! :) Have a great day Colleen!

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