There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Monday, February 28, 2011

D is for Disorder

     Every day I thank God for the gift of the Google search engine.  A fabulous invention that has allowed me to save hundreds of dollars on self help books at Barnes and Noble, not to mention the privacy it affords me as I seek to determine why I do the things I do.

     What a joy it’s been to discover that there are names for my behaviors.  I used to beat myself up about the fact that I would lose my car keys on a regular basis, until a Google search confirmed that I have Attention Deficit Disorder.  I questioned why I need to habitually check my burners before leaving the house until I discovered that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  My family was relieved to learn that when mom is slamming doors and eating two pounds of chocolate in one day, its not anything they have done, its simply my Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

     And don’t get me started on the array of Personality Disorders that I have…
     Of course defining the disorder hasn’t necessarily solved the problem.  I still lose my car keys and check my burners, but there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that I am not crazy, I have clearly defined diagnoses.  And this knowledge alleviates the worries caused by my Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

     Yes, according to the reliable information on the internet, I have many disorders. So many, in fact, I am wondering if there’s a disorder for that…maybe I should Google it.

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