There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Monday, February 14, 2011

Love is in the Words

      Yesterday in church my Pastor spoke of love and the different ways we communicate our love to others.  He suggested that we all have our own “love language”.  Some express and receive love through encouraging words, others through acts of service, some through gifts.

      His sermon made me appreciate how important it is to speak the proper love language to the people in our lives.  My parents, married almost 50 years, definitely understand each other’s love language.  I have never heard my father actually say the words “I love you” to my mother, yet every week he takes her car to the gas station and fills her tank.  And my father has yet to make his own meal.  Even if my mother goes away for a few days, she prepares all of my father’s meals ahead of time.  They speak to each other through acts of service, and they hear it as love.

      Every birthday and special event my husband sends me flowers, thinking that I will know he loves me through his gifts, and yet it’s the card that is attached to the flowers I appreciate most.  I prefer words, so while the flowers may wilt and die, the message on the card is what will remain in my heart.   

      My husband, on the other hand, prefers physical touch.  I know he appreciates the hot meal that sits waiting for him each night, but it’s the hug that I give him when he returns home from work that speaks my love to him.  And yet, I try to give my boys a hug and I am quickly brushed off,  so I make sure their favorite foods are in the fridge and their laundry is cleaned and put away.

      We all thrive on giving and receiving love, it’s what we were created to do, but  ultimately, it’s how well we know the love language of those we are in a relationship with that determines the success of that relationship.   And today, on Valentine’s Day, I will know I am loved because my husband will take the time to choose just the right words to express his feelings,  and these special words will be delivered to the house on a beautiful card with some flowers attached. 


  1. This really is such an important thing to consider! I know for me, my love language is also communication. I appreciate the thought behind gifts but to be honest, not if the giver has never taken the time to really talk with me, you know?
    I need that conversation and interest to really feel loved by someone, it is just how I work.:)

    Great topic for Valentine's Day Deborah! It is something to really think about!

  2. Great post Deborah,I felt the love in every line.

  3. Thanks Ladies, I used to think this was a Venus/Mars thing, because my boys all loved when I took care of their needs, but my daughter loves when I encourage her with words, and give her my time. But I think its an individual thing more than a girl/guy thing.
    Happy Valentine's Day to you both!

  4. How sweet that your parents take care of each other like that! I'm lucky in that my husband does sweet things for me and tells me he loves me.

  5. I think this is so true...we each have our own love language...I am with you it's about the words...but also that the actions back up the thankful you have a husband like this and that you had the example of loving parents...very cool Deborah...happy Tueday friend! XX