There is a woman in my life I find rather intimidating. She is much farther along in her spiritual journey than I am, and therefore, I have done her the disservice of assuming she was judging me. Instead of trying to get to know her better, I have kept my walls up when I’m around her. I thought if she knew the real me, she would disapprove of me, my lifestyle and my choices.
Today, however, I learned something about her that allowed us to connect on a new level and I was grateful for our open and honest exchange. By convincing myself that she was judging me, it never occurred to me that I was judging her. And in doing so, I have been missing the opportunity to get to know her on a deeper level.
How often do I make that mistake? How often do I miss an opportunity to get to know someone because I have already predetermined who they are and what they must be thinking about me?
I have struggled with my faith for most of my life. I have used my doubts and questions to keep a safe distance from God. Why does he allow evil? Why do bad things happen to good people? Is there a judgment day? Will I have to face Him one day and answer for my life? For years it seemed better to avoid the whole thing than to wrestle with those questions.
Much like the woman I was with today, I have been unwilling to really get to know who God is, unwilling to break down the walls and enter into a deeper relationship for fear that He has already judged me. In fact, I have been so fearful of His judgment that I have been judging Him.
The two greatest commandments God has given are simply love God and love your neighbor. But how do I show my love for God? Perhaps it’s by loving my neighbor…to leave the fear of judgment behind and create the opportunity for open and honest exchange. To enter into a relationship…