As a senior in high school, my son has been fully involved in the college search process. Yesterday he went for his last interview so all of his applications are complete. Erik’s future is now officially out of our hands.
Knowing that my son’s future rests with various admissions counselors is unsettling. I am doing my best to put this in God’s hands, trying to calm my nerves by reassuring myself that He has a plan for Erik so whatever is supposed to happen will happen.
Unfortunately that thought does not give me the peace I am seeking, because while I have been taught this theory that God is in control, I have also been taught the concept of free will. So I wonder…is my life pre-determined? Or do I have choices?
When I bought my house, I looked at many properties before deciding on this one. Something about this house drew me in. When I walked through the doors, I felt like I was home. So when we went through the process of making an offer I was anxious. I wanted everything to work out, the price, the inspection, and as my anxieties rose, I again tried to calm myself with the thought that if it was meant for me to live in this house, God would make sure it happened.
Once settled into my new home, I questioned whether God made certain of that outcome knowing that for my life to continue on the path He had already chosen for me, I needed to live in this particular house or was the choice to live here mine, given that I have free will.
Are admissions counselors granted free will? Assuming for the moment that they are, is it possible that the stroke of their pen, whether in the accepted or rejected box, may thwart the plan of our Almighty Creator? In which case, does God then recalculate the plan, much like my GPS, where the kindly lady with the British accent recalculates my route when I take a turn against her pre-determined directions?
Whatever those answers may be, I can assure you that try as I might, I will not be satisfied until Erik receives what will hopefully be the very large envelopes from the colleges of his choice. Then the decision for his future is back in his hands…or is it?