As a senior in high school, my son has been fully involved in the college search process. Yesterday he went for his last interview so all of his applications are complete. Erik’s future is now officially out of our hands.
Knowing that my son’s future rests with various admissions counselors is unsettling. I am doing my best to put this in God’s hands, trying to calm my nerves by reassuring myself that He has a plan for Erik so whatever is supposed to happen will happen.
Unfortunately that thought does not give me the peace I am seeking, because while I have been taught this theory that God is in control, I have also been taught the concept of free will. So I wonder…is my life pre-determined? Or do I have choices?
When I bought my house, I looked at many properties before deciding on this one. Something about this house drew me in. When I walked through the doors, I felt like I was home. So when we went through the process of making an offer I was anxious. I wanted everything to work out, the price, the inspection, and as my anxieties rose, I again tried to calm myself with the thought that if it was meant for me to live in this house, God would make sure it happened.
Once settled into my new home, I questioned whether God made certain of that outcome knowing that for my life to continue on the path He had already chosen for me, I needed to live in this particular house or was the choice to live here mine, given that I have free will.
Are admissions counselors granted free will? Assuming for the moment that they are, is it possible that the stroke of their pen, whether in the accepted or rejected box, may thwart the plan of our Almighty Creator? In which case, does God then recalculate the plan, much like my GPS, where the kindly lady with the British accent recalculates my route when I take a turn against her pre-determined directions?
Whatever those answers may be, I can assure you that try as I might, I will not be satisfied until Erik receives what will hopefully be the very large envelopes from the colleges of his choice. Then the decision for his future is back in his hands…or is it?
You ask a lot of great questions. I wish I had answers for you. I do believe that God has a plan for each of us and that he is in control of the bigger picture. He also gave us free will instead of making us puppets that he controls. Sometimes my mind gets thinking really deep like this and I get confused because when it comes down to it there are things we just don't know...and then I wonder if our human minds could really understand it if we actually knew the whole truth? When I get this way I have to stop and remind myself of the truths that I do know and leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteIf I listen to too many people I can get even more confused and depending on who I talk to, I can start to feel this panic feeling.
I've also come to believe that maybe there are more than one path to take but all of those paths end at the place we are suppose to be...that what we get out of the experiences, the people we meet and what we learn from our journey's are all things we are suppose to learn or experience in order to get to the next phase of our lives...and that we will keep going through similar experiences until we "get it" or get to where He wants us.
At this point in my life I am trusting I am exactly where I'm suppose to be..doing what I'm suppose to be doing until He shows me differently.
As always, thank you for this thought provoking post. Hope your Saturday is going good! XX