There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Trials and Tribulations of Mid-Life

Have you ever woken up on any random morning and wondered about your life?  And by that, of course, I mean what happened to your life?  I'm not complaining about the things I have. I love my kids, I have a great husband, but is it wrong to wonder about what else there might be? I suppose this is the makings of a midlife crisis. The only problem is how many midlife crises is a person entitled to have. I am 46 and I seem to be having alot of them. Or perhaps its just been one long crisis.  I chose to stay home and raise my kids so I haven't "worked" (as is always so eloquently pointed out to me) in 20 years.  Now that my kids are older I have the luxury of deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I haven't figured that out yet, but I have made a critical decision for myself.
On January 1, 2011, exactly 8 days ago, I made the decision to stop drinking for the entire year.  Now, I wouldn't necessarily consider myself an alcoholic but I do love to drink. I'm really good at it. After all, I've been doing it since I was 13 so I have had a significant amount of practice.  I don't actually remember a time I didn't drink except during my four pregnancies, with one exception. Last year, on my 45th birthday, I made the decision to stop drinking. I journaled every day. And I learned alot about myself in the process, but about three months later, as the holidays approached I decided that it was time to venture back into the world of alcohol seeing as I so clearly did not have a drinking problem and could obviously control it. Hmmm...
Fast forward to the holiday season again, and I have found myself back to where I started. Although this time the drink of choice was vodka rather than chardonnay. For some reason drinking a double martini every night seemed so much more socially acceptable than a bottle of Kendall Jackson.
So this brings me to today...
I am 8 days into the New Year (as we all are) and I have again made the commitment to take alcohol out of my life for one year.  While I journaled the last time, I did not blog. I am hoping the public accountability will keep me on track and in the process maybe I will discover what it is I am supposed to do with the rest of my life...


  1. Deb,

    You are a brave one to go this alone, but if you start to feel the pressure-

    Good luck!

  2. Thank you for the kind wishes!

  3. Just found your blog, and am so glad I did...I'm approaching 40 rapidly, kids are in school, and I am trying to figure out what's next. look forward to reading more here about your journey.

  4. Hmmm, I'm definitely intrigued.

    Looking forward to catching up.

  5. Your email is unlisted so I could not email you but I wanted to thank you for sharing about your son being a cancer survivor. I believe god has special plans for each of those he saves and I pray all goes well with him. I looked for a posting re him but didn't find one so I just commented here. Now you can delete it since it is unrelated to your post.