I have been on a quest to find my purpose. To figure out what it is I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. I am not quite an empty nester yet, but by September all three of my boys will be in college and my daughter, who will enter 8th grade, is so independent I find that other than driving her around, there is simply not the same level of day to day care.
So I have asked God to guide me, I have actively pursued new activities, I have made some changes in my life that I thought would lead me in the right direction. But it’s a frenzied type of searching, not peaceful at all, and I wonder if I am going about this the wrong way.
When Moses fled from Egypt, and found himself in Midian with a new wife and new job, I am guessing that he wasn’t asking God about his future or his purpose. In fact, he may even have been hiding from God given that he just killed a man. And yet God came to Him anyway. And Moses, who wasn’t looking for anything suddenly found himself face to face (well actually face to burning bush) with Him, listening to God’s plans for his future.
And consider Paul, who seemed confident about the direction of his life and was not questioning his purpose, when Jesus decided He had other plans for him. Choosing to use a bolt of lightning to get his attention, Paul realized that his future was going to be much different than he planned as well.
I ask God for guidance but I am met with silence so I continue on each day wondering if I am doing something wrong. Am I not being patient enough? Am I not listening hard enough? Surely, God has a plan for my life, and I am expending so much energy trying to figure that out.
Yet, if I look at the lives of these and other people of the Bible, it’s quite apparent that if God needs me, He pretty much knows where to find me, and I’m not going to miss His call because He has very powerful ways to get my attention. Perhaps, its time for me to stop interfering and just let God do what He needs to do, and hope that just a small electric shock will be enough to get my attention.