This morning, being the first day of Lent, and Day One of my journey within my journey, I thought I should pray. Not one to get down on my knees and fold my hands together, I wasn’t quite sure where to start. Formal prayer is not part of my life, in fact, it confuses and frustrates me at times.
When my son was a cancer patient, many people prayed for him. His name was placed on prayer circles at our area churches and when Erik’s cancer went into remission many of those same people praised God for their answered prayers.
I was quite flippant in my attitude at the time, thinking that the chemotherapy had a lot more to do with curing Erik than a group of people praying to a God who would allow a ten year old boy to get cancer in the first place. And what of the other children in that oncology wing that we met during the year that Erik received his treatments who were not so lucky. Children who lost their battle. Did they not receive prayers? Were they not on prayer chains? Did the people in their lives not pray hard enough?
Why would God answer prayers for Erik but not prayers for others? Because some things are just a mystery, beyond our understanding, I was told. Even God essentially said that to Job in His speech that began “where were you when I laid the Earth’s foundation?” Unlike ever faithful Job though, I have, at times, turned away from God because of that answer, much like a child who runs crying to his room after being told no, you can’t have what you want.
But today begins my journey to step toward God, rather than away from Him. And while I am still unsure of my ability to pray because I don’t know the words, I do know that whenever I start anything new it’s always best to start right In the beginning…