There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Lent Day Twenty One - The Best Compliment I Ever Received

I was looking through some old pictures of myself when I was about 25 pounds heavier than I am now.   What surprised me was that because I lost the weight so slowly I didn’t realize how much heavier I actually was.  I guess sometimes we change without even realizing how much we are changing.

Around that same time, I had coffee with a friend who shared with me her relationship with Jesus.  When she finished talking I said “you sound like you know Him personally, like He’s sitting right next to you.”  And she smiled at me, understanding that I just didn’t get it.

Typically in my life, as I experienced hurt or pain, my response was to build a wall around myself.  A wall of self protection.  Brick by brick over the years I was able to build quite a fortress.  Inside this fortress there was no room for God.  I was quite stubborn thinking I could handle life on my own, thank you very much. 

But there came a time, when I realized that not only was this wall keeping me safely inside, but it was also keeping others, including God, safely outside.  And I was lonely.  Even in a crowd of people, I was lonely.  Disconnected somehow.  So I took a leap of faith and removed one brick.  And by doing so, although not realizing it at the time, I let God in.

God, who I thought had long since abandoned me, was just waiting patiently outside the wall.  And though it took years, that one little gesture I made toward God, has allowed Him to do His work.  Even at times when I was completely unaware.  Much like looking at myself in that old photo and not realizing that I had changed.

Today, I had a conversation with another friend.  A friend who is struggling with God, asking the same questions I once asked.  And I talked to Him about Jesus, and who Jesus is to me and he said “you sound like you know Him personally, like He’s sitting right next to you.”   And I smiled, realizing that I finally get it.


  1. It's a wonderful thing to really know jesus,the one that is closer than a brother.Blessings jane

  2. Deb - I'm so happy with you...The more we let go, the closer we come to Him!