Thirty seven days ago I made the decision that for Lent I would put God first. That whenever I was feeling lonely, bored, frustrated or otherwise discontent I would go to God, rather than my usual coping mechanisms.
I had the idea in my head that by the end of the forty days I would be a new person. A new creation. Someone different. Someone I could look at in the mirror and like. In other words, the perfect version of myself.
Now with only three days left, I can tell you most assuredly that I am far from being the perfect version of myself. But my imperfections are growing on me, and with them so is my compassion. Because just as I love and accept others even with their imperfections, so I have learned to love and accept myself.
I placed my faith and trust in God and He has changed me, although not in the ways I would have changed myself. If it were up to me, I would have removed my sugar cravings, improved my organizational skills and eliminated my obsessive compulsive tendencies. But God chose to work on my heart instead.
So while I still eat far too much chocolate, I worry less, and while my kids still have to sift through piles of unfolded clothes each morning, I am grateful to have clothes to wash, and while I still check my burners and locks several times, I know that God is in control and I am not.
And even though Lent will come to an end, my life with God is only beginning and I am excited to see where He will lead me.